Isn’t working around all that death depressing?

This is a response I’ve gotten numerous times. I am also a licensed mental health counselor and understand the clinical meaning of depression but when sitting down to write about this topic I wanted to see how this term is more commonly defined. What I found was, “causing or resulting in a feeling of miserable dejection”. Wow, that feels really heavy, like clinical depression often is. I can understand where the question is coming from, but I don’t find the work to feel depressing. Working among death can ignite feelings of sadness sure, but it also awakens feelings of inspiration, honor, hope, astonishment, and awe.

Working with death constantly renews my sense of appreciation for how finite and precious life is. It reminds me that death is the only part of life that is promised. This is a truth we all theoretically know but we are often not acutely tuned into. People facing death are suddenly captured by this reality and it can be an abrupt transition. It can throw you into a multitude of different reactive states. What death doulas hope is to create space, time, and support for you to pause, reflect, process and respond instead of impulsively react to facing end-of-life and death.

When something is hard it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing. To companion someone through end-of-life is meaningful, full of purpose and holds an abundance of value. Believing in this work thins any fog of depression that may settle, it penetrates the heaviness weighing it down and gives the ground cloud a way back into the sky. This work can be hard, but the bounties are great, and I feel called into this sacred territory. The work of dying isn’t something any of us can opt out of so I choose to turn myself toward it and accompany others as they embark on this journey.